The Journey, The Trials, The Miracle

Our journey has been long, our trials sometimes seemed to hard to bear. But after 8 years we are excited to announce that we are expecting our first child in September!

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!

I still can't believe that this is real. Our dream if finally coming true!

The Journey:
Jeff and I have worked with doctors and infertility specialists for many, many years to get our little one here. I have gone through hormone shots, infertility meds, ultrasounds. had more lab tests and blood drawn then I care to remember, had a surgery, struggled through the sickness of new medication and the frustration of inconclusive results. The patience of working with OB after OB and having them not take us seriously. It's difficult to understand why after my explanation of how we have been trying for years and nothing is working and explaining the problems that previous doctors had found that doctors will say, "Well these things just take time, let's just give it another six months then we'll do some tests." Yeah, did you hear what I said?
Well we finally figured out that I had to get aggressive if I wanted to get results, and we became more informed about my situation but the doctors still didn't know why I couldn't get pregnant.

When I moved to the Mountain we thought adoption was the only option left. I didn't know of any fertility doctors here and traveling to Mesa 4-5 times a month to see the doctor there for fertility treatments just wasn't feasible. Then a break, we found a OB that was also a fertility specialist. I have been seeing him now for about a year. Just after Christmas I called to talk to him about invetro and found out that he didn't do that and we would have to go to Mesa if we choose that route. With all of the 'pre op' work, consults and other appointments that go into this process, I would have had to go without Jeff, and as emotional as this is for us that would be draining emotionally and financially.
SO adoption it is....so we thought.

The Trails:
Mother's Day in church was well...."black Sunday" I didn't want to go. I didn't want people to tell me to stand up and get whatever it was they were passing out with the excuse that "You'll be a mother someday." I avoided it at all costs. Whenever I would give up Jeff my wonderful husband would tell me to have faith. The Lord does hear us and He will answer our prayers. I always asked when....and Jeff would answer...in HIS time. We just have to be patient. Yeah, isn't 6, 7, 8 years patient enough? My sweet husband would console me...Just believe sweetie....just believe.
At times I didn't want to, at times I was bitter, angry. I wondered if I just wasn't good enough to be a mom.
And I cried...and cried. Jeff would hold me and just let me get out my hurt and frustration. Then he would remind me that "things are gonna be OK" Then I could get through life for awhile.
Thank you Jeff for your never ending faith, sometimes you supported us both. I love you and can't wait to make you a Daddy! You are going to be a wonderful Daddy. I love you!
Thank you to my family. You always listened, you talked with my about my doctors appointments and always stayed supportive throughout the years.

To my mom and mother-in-law. Your support, love and unyielding faith humbles me. You gave me hope and belief that someday it would be my turn. I love you both so much. To my sister-in-laws thank you for support, love and your wonderful children. I loved when you had children not only are new nieces and nephews are the most wonderful thing in the world. But you let me be so involved. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

To my friends...my sweet friends.... thank you for the talks, the support, letting me play 'mommy', letting my husband make paper airplanes for your kids in Church, laughing with me and teaching me 'tricks of the trade', you helped my fill a void in my life that almost swallowed me whole.

To everyone who prayed for us for all those years. We are so grateful. We know it is because of those prayers that we have this miracle.

The Miracle:
A baby, something we hoped for, dreamed of, prayed for, worked for and cried about. Its coming and we can't wait. I know that everyone thinks that their kid is the best thing that ever happened....but ours REALLY IS! :) I have never been so excited to be nauseous! Thanks again to all of our Family and Friends who have been there with us through this Journey. We love you and can't wait to show all of you our little miracle when it arrives in September.